pastore: mea sententia (in my opinion)

I just got off another persons blog and I have to say something.  I like the Reformed folks, I truly do.  I have great respect for their respect of Holy Scripture and their attempt to apply it in all circumstances for the purpose of godly living.  But I believe they keep making the same mistake over and over again.  They treat the Holy Scriptures as if they are recipes to follow or incantations to say and the understanding seems to be that if everything is done right that what they desire is certain to be realized.  This is undoubtedly setting them up for failure and thus a crisis of faith.  As the Reformed folks know there is always, always the reality of our fallen natures that mess up everything we do even when we do it the best we can on this side of heaven. That reality means that our striving after what Scripture describes as godly living will give us the best chance to overcome sin and to please God but it never guarantees that there will not be conflict or estrangement or disappointment or failure or…

It is hard to think of anything being more important than the words we say.  And it is not just the words themselves but how we say them and when we say them and to whom we say them.  Proverbs 10:32 contrasts the words of a righteous man and a wicked man.  The righteous man’s words are “fitting” (NIV) or “acceptable” (KJV).  The wicked man’s words are “perverse” (NIV) or “froward” (KJV).  I prefer contrasting “fitting” and “froward.”  The word “fitting” communicates that we should consider the time, place and audience when we choose the words we speak.  The word “froward” communicates words that are willfully contrary, which tells us that the speaker knows that what he says is not fitting but he speaks anyways.

The standard of speaking what is “fitting” applies to all circumstances and is most important when our words are in conflict with someone else’s words.

Psychologists rightly warn couples in conflict not to use exaggerated words such as “always” nor “never” because they put another person on the defense.  Phrases like, “You always do this,” or “You never consider…” usually bring about an emotional reaction from the person being accused.  This takes the argument to a whole new emotional level that is hard to come down from.

Christians also use exaggerated words when in conflict that can lead to a similar emotional response by the person being accused.  Those words are “honest” and “prayed” and are found in phrases like, “I need to be honest with you,” and “I have prayed about this.”    The word “honest” sounds virtuous but is usually not fitting in a conversation that has one person maligning another person.  If I say, “I need to be honest with you and tell you that I think you are a jerk,” I have used the word “honest” as if I was speaking the truth rather than telling you my opinion.  If I say, “I have prayed about it and I believe you should know that other people I have talked to think you’re a jerk,” I have used the spiritual discipline of prayer and implied that God has told me to tell you what other people think of you.  These words also take the conversation to a whole new emotional level for the first claims truth and the other God’s will.  To disagree the accused will have to be against both.

Before a Christian uses words like “honest” and “prayed” it needs to be asked if either one is fitting or froward.  It is usually one or the other.

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.  From Morning Prayer Psalter reading this morning, Psalm 118

It is wiser because God can truly help.  It is morally better for as his creatures it is our duty.  It is safer for we cannot rely on mortal man.  It is better in effect in that it increases our faith in Him.  It is better in terms of results as any success by man would fall short of perfection.

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in princes.  

Even the noblest of men are to be considered unreliable when compared to God.  Because of the failures of men, the more one puts his trust in the Lord the more he is free, free from false expectations, free from wanting and free from disappointment.  Hope in Him does not disappoint.

There are times when a person asks a question in such a manner that it is not clear as to whether he or she actually wants an answer.

On Passion weekend we had the Rev. James Baxter preach to us about resolving conflict.  The first of those sermons can be found here Resolving conflict.  During the Sunday service I chose a passage from Deuteronomy to read as our OT lesson.  The passage describes a plausible scenario of two men fighting and a wife of one of the men interceding by grabbing the private parts (the NKJ uses the word “genitals” but the Hebrew does not have a word similar).  The reading surprised some in the congregation, especially since a woman who does such a thing would be punished by her arm being cut off.  I would be curious to know if such a punishment was ever carried out.  The Bible does not describe a time that it was.  Questions such as, “What’s that all about?”  or “How do you explain that one?”  were asked.  I know I am reading into the questions but the tones were such that it was as if God’s got some explaining to do or the pastor doesn’t know everything and here is proof.  No proof is needed to show I don’t know everything, and I don’t believe God needs to explaining anything.

There are laws in the OT and passages in Scripture that are very, very hard to understand.  Even St. Peter said as much about the writings of St. Paul.  Although there are tough passages especially when it comes to the OT law and applying the principles of those laws that does not mean we should not try.  It is for us as Christians, clergy and laity to wrestle with how to apply them, all of them.  We might get it wrong or miss the point but it will be rewarding to try.

In the case of the woman grabbing a man’s private parts, we must remember how important it was for Israelites to bring forth the “seed” that would crush the serpent’s head.  Such an act by a woman would endanger a man’s ability to pro-create as well as the behavior being inappropriate.  The reason for the severity of the punishment likely includes it being a public deterrent and a symbol of the seriousness of sin itself.  It as least shows how serious God takes sin.

Thomas L. Kuhlman

I am a practicing psychologist and a practicing Catholic. Recently a Catholic client expressed serious concern about his increasing use of internet pornography. When I asked what he had done to try to control the problem himself, he mentioned having gone to confession. I asked if it had helped. His reply: “Oh, come on! He told me to say seven Our Fathers and seven Hail Marys!”

For the spiritually mature, the penitential recitation of such prayers may be an embrace of the faith that sustains them. But for many of us these assigned recitations have become little more than an easy reset button: Say the right words and it’s as if the bad deeds had never been done. When assigned as penances, memorized prayers often seem to minimize the gravity of the sins to which they correspond. They are a small, quick chore that puts the seal on large redemptive gains. . . . .Still, the sorrow we feel for our sins should be commensurate with the sins, and the expression of sorrow commensurate with the sorrow. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church puts it, “The penance…must correspond as far as possible with the gravity and nature of the sins committed” (1460). Over time and many confessions, the sense of dissonance from having received incommensurately light penances for serious sin accumulates.

It is sad to see a psychologist have a better grasp of confession and reconciliation to God than a Roman Catholic Priest.  But it must be said that penance is not the answer either.  Confession that turns a sinner away from sin and enables him or her to go home justified just as the tax collector did includes humility and an acknowledged need for God’s mercy.  It only by God’s mercy that we find forgiveness for our sins, no penance necessary.  What keeps the sinner from going back to his or her sin is a devotion to pleasing God in thought and deed because of the mercy received.

Describing the tax collector in the Temple…”Every gesture and posture is significant and yet all came spontaneously.  He had no book of directions how to behave himself in the house of God; his sincerity guided him.  If you want to know how to behave yourselves as penitents, be penitents.”  Spurgeon

Peter and Kerry

You are marrying at a historical time in the state of Maryland.  Our state and our nation is in a heated debate regarding the definition of marriage.  Unfortunately we have to say that the Church is partly to blame (and it may have to take more than partial responsibility) because marriage has not been held up as sacred by many who call themselves Christians.  Because Christians have not taken the vows of marriage as seriously as they ought the secularists have swooped in to take advantage and their advantage is to redefine the institution.  

Success for the secularist is to take away the sacredness of marriage, which is to take away the holiness of marriage, which is to take away God from the marriage covenant.  The good news for us is that while the secularists can have legislatures and Governors sign bills into law that redefine marriage and take God out of the institution we can know that God does not have to obey the laws of men.  Regardless of what men say is law and thus truth God has a different definition and He continues to make marriage sacred wherever a man and a woman pledge their lives to one another in the name of Jesus Christ the Lord.  The others are just playing marriage whereas what we do here is the real thing.  

It is not my preference to point out the disregard of marriage practiced by our culture today on your wedding day for both of you have great conviction within yourselves about the institution and you have wonderful examples of strong and godly marriages on both sides of the aisle here today.  But I must speak these words of warning because all persons present need to hear them and we must do battle against the evil spirits of this age.  

In the book of Malachi the Lord speaks through the prophet regarding sins that are prevalent among the people.  One of those sins is the disregarding of wives.  From Malachi 2:13 and following:

“Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.

 15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.[d] So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.

 16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,”[e] says the LORD Almighty.

   So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.

This rebuke came as a result of men dismissing their wives as if they were getting rid of an employee.  But being unfaithful to a spouse can occur in many different forms including neglect, abuse and infidelity both emotionally and physically.  Can we not hear the passion in our Lord’s words as He so desires that the covenant made in His name be kept for a lifetime?  The reason the Lord cannot hear the words of a man’s prayers is because the man has not kept the words he made in the Name of the Lord God when he vowed to love his wife.

Today you make promises in the name of God.  You make promises in the name of Jesus His Only Son.  And God implores you as He did Israel, to keep those promises.

And I want to take it a step further.  To be sure, it will be a good witness to the world that you keep your vows made here today.  It will strengthen the testimony of the gospel and the integrity of Christ’ Church that you remain true to your vows as long as you both shall live.  But you two can do more than that.  You compliment each other well.  You balance each other well. While you Peter can think that there is no need to get done today what can be put off for tomorrow, Kerry can help you realize that you shouldn’t put off for tomorrow what can be done today.  And while you Kerry can feel stressed that the schedule for the day or week is not going as planned, Peter can remind you the words of our Lord that it is not for us to worry about tomorrow for each day has enough worry of its own.  Your differences can be your strengths.  Your differences can be why you are endeared toward one another.  Each of you can call one another to a higher standard of character and virtue because your strengths are your differences.

I therefore charge you to enjoy one another.  Be free to enjoy one another.  Proverbs instructs a man to enjoy the wife of his youth.  Well Peter, this is your youth, so enjoy your wife and Kerry, enjoy your husband.  That is what the Lord wants for both of you.  Marriage is not just about keeping vows.  It is about enjoying one another.  You are free to enjoy one another’s bodies, minds, spirits and the offspring with which God chooses to bless you.  Allow the world to see from your lives what a marriage truly is.  Understand that in marriage it is not only acceptable to be satisfied, God wants you to be satisfied.  Enjoy, He says.   May your marriage be a shining witness in a dark world as to what God intended marriage to be.  It is between one man and one woman.  Today it is between Peter and Kerry.  It is an institution to be enjoyed.  It is an institution that brings forth fruit.  So be fruitful and enjoy.  Amen

Preachers who try to be prophetic can sound too much like an alarmist or conspiracy theorist.  We see a compromise and say that if it keeps going in the same direction the sky will fall.  Of course the sky will not fall, at least not unless the Lord wants it to.  But the sky on a particular moral issue will and thats really the reason to alarm people.  The following link explains how a medical ethics journal contains an article that condones the killing of babies after they have been born.  They call it “afterbirth abortion” and their logic is for you to try to understand.Abortion

The proverbial “slippery slope” is a real phenomena.  I read that Santorum used the proverb to warn about a cultural slide if homosexual marriage is allowable in American society (I have not read the actual quote yet), but he has been maligned by many even in his own party for appearing like an alarmist.  Slippery slope prophets risk looking like fools and some are actual fools.  But saving the unborn and born alike and the sliding of a culture is worth being mocked.  Rise Up O Church of God!

We here in Maryland have decided that two men can marry and two women can marry and marry each other no less.  This has been called a victory for “human rights”.  I saw a sign from a protestor in favor of same sex marriage which read “I didn’t vote on your marriage.”  To whomever wrote the sign, “no, you didn’t.”  No one voted on my marriage or any other hetero marriage because natural law makes it unnecessary.  We find it necessary to vote on the right for same sex couples to marry because we are sexually confused and the definition of marriage has been dragged through the desert.  The proper Christian response as I see it is to demand a referendum.  While our only recourse now is the democratic process, it needs to be said that no matter what the governor wants call a homosexual relationship, it is not marriage.  Inherent within a marriage covenant is the ability to pro-create and that means naturally.  One way to counteract the wind of the culture is to insist on such a definition of marriage.  God help us!

The health care/birth control ruckus needs to be evaluated on several fronts.  First, we should appreciate Bishop Duncan leading us (ACNA) to side with the Roman Church as they refuse to compromise on their convictions.  Second, we should appreciate the Roman Church not compromising and we protestants should follow the example.  Third, the Obampromise just announced is really no compromise.  As critiques have pointed out and as any economic shlep knows, the insurance companies will pass the cost of birth control on to the Church and its ministries under some other labeled cost leaving the issue where the government wanted it in the first place.  Fourth, and most disturbing, are these quotes by the President, “Whether you’re a teacher or a small businesswoman or a nurse or a janitor, no woman’s ‘s health should depend on who she is, or where she works, or how much money she makes,” Obama called free contraceptive care a “core principle” of his health care law, which requires that all preventive services be provided at no cost to patients.  ”The Obama administration says insurers can provide birth control for free because contraception reduces costs for them overall by preventing expensive-to-cover pregnancies, as well as reducing the risk of ovarian cancer,” (AP)  These statements and previous actions by the President’s administration show that a child is to be understood primarily as something that you prevent and something you value in terms of its economic burden.  That zeitgeist is why we will continue to find babies in garbage cans.  We could focus our frustration on President Obama but that will not change the times in which we live.  For starters we need to see a child as a blessing rather than something to prevent.  Yes, this is an argument against birth control.